Twice Exceptional or just General Education First?

Until a week ago, no one had ever asked me about supporting a “twice exceptional” child (a child with a disability as well as being academically “gifted”). I’m not fond of the term and it isn’t part of my direct experience as the parent of a disabled learner. But, the mom asked me a good question that deserved a thoughtful reply.

She and I talked through an answer together… it is one of the joys of talking face-to-face…

The funny thing is, the gist of the answer was –

Act like a thoughtful general education parent

General Education First

“If you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail” – well, as a parent of a student with an Individualized Education Program (IEP – the formal US mechanism for supporting disabled students in public schools under the IDEA law)…we tend to jump to an IEP meeting for everything.

What if we acted like we were ordinary parents who wanted the best our schools have to offer for our kids?

1. Programmatic Accessibility

What are the programs in our school or school district? Do we think our child could benefit from the programs? … and will they let our kids in?

In this case, there aren’t really programs in school for academically advanced kids (I’m not sure if this is a thing anymore), so it makes no sense to ask for this service through an IEP. Special Education doesn’t guarantee access to the education you want for your child, formally, it is supposed to give you access to the same education as your general education peers in your school district. If that is a great program – awesome, if it sucks for the general education kids, you are probably equally screwed (and it may be time to get involved in your local school district politics!). If they are excellent at football (or any other school program) – is this desirable or accessible for your child?

2. Informal Alliances

In April of 2023, I finally read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People“. I’d poo-pooed it for years. But there are … after reading it, I’ve been recommending it to a lot of people, especially my fellow special education parents.

Whether your child has a disability or not, one of the keys to improving school is to have a teacher that wants to teach your child – building goodwill with your child’s teachers can make a difference.

Can you work with your teacher so that they can (easily) make school more challenging and interesting for your child? How can you collaborate to get them on your side to make this happen?

3. External Enhancements

My daughter’s second-grade math was grim (this was before we moved 3.5 years ago).

The teacher was pretty awful. The class was slow and boring. My wife and I knew that our daughter could learn, but we couldn’t change things in the class or at school (Cue some of my early school board commentary). So, we did some research and found some good math resources (Singapore Math and the Beast Academy books). And we proceeded to work through those with her for years.

I think we saved math for our daughter.

4. Move

Change your school or even community.

Go where you are treated better

You can’t IEP a school into doing a good job. We had been unhappy for several years in our old school district (if you have a child with extensive support needs, private schools are rarely available or an option). We worked very hard with them to find a way to do a good job for our son and our daughter. The year of COVID was the end for us. By October of 2020, we had decided to move and we did in June of 2021. While things aren’t perfect, they have gotten better. We had to stay in the Bay Area because both my wife and my elderly parents are here, so we looked for the best option that was local.

We all have constraints, but sometimes, it is worth looking at options – whatever your (or your child’s) disability status.